How to Keep Your Children Safe on the Internet
Right off the top, you need to be open and honest with your children about potential online dangers, and not just sexual predators. There are other dangers, such as identify theft (yes, kids’ IDs are stolen, too), family information being exposed, burglars shopping around for targets and so forth. Engage your children in conversations about these things, talk about the news items related to online predators and hackers, and, above all, listen at least as much as you lecture.
Of course, there are many kinds of parental controls built into the major operating systems (OS) like Windows XP, Vista and 7, as well as Mac OS X. In addition, there are huge numbers of commercial software products that can be added on – like Windows Live Family Safety Settings and products from third parties – so you should look at a few and determine what is best for your situation.
General discussions, specific rules
After some informative, wide-ranging discussions about the Internet – its pluses and minuses, its dangers and opportunities – you should set specific rules for Internet use at your home. Although you will have to customize them to fit your particular situation, the following rules should cover most of the bases for you. If you are still curious, by all means keep reading on the subject. However, the sooner you implement a “home security plan,” the sooner you can start reducing your alert level (and blood pressure). Here are some basic guidelines you can personalize:
First, before anything, familiarize yourself with the parental controls in the OS and the browser on your kids’ PC(s). Everything starts with you knowing how to use these tools – and how to keep your kids from getting around them.
Get your kids’ agreement to follow the age limits on all social networking sites. The recommended age at such social networking sites as Windows Live Spaces, Facebook or MySpace is usually 13 or older. If your children have not attained the recommended age for a site, do not let them access it.
Younger teens should not use chat rooms at all, as the risks are far too great. As they get older and are more mature, you can steer them toward some well-monitored, youth-oriented chat rooms, forums and social sites. Even older teens should use monitored discussion forums and chat rooms until you are satisfied with their handling of unexpected circumstances.
Make sure to get a list of all the chat rooms and forums your kids do use. Monitor those areas yourself so you know the type of conversations that are taking place. Do this regularly.
Tell your children to remain, at all times, in a chat room’s or forum’s public area. Private areas (”whisper rooms”) where users have one-on-one chats with others are shielded from monitoring. Don’t let your kids hide their activities. Keep them honest and open, and in safe surroundings.
Until the trust level is established, consider keeping the Internet-connected computers in a common area, never in you child’s bedroom. A predator hoping to establish a new relationship with your child will find it rough going if the monitor is easily visible. This is one of the first questions to reveal a possible predator – “Are you alone?”
Again, until your trust levels are high enough, you should probably sit with your child as they explore chat rooms and discussion forums.
Young children do not need their own unique e-mail addresses. They should share a family e-mail address rather than have their own, but as they get older you can set up a separate one for them.
Even when kids have their own e-mail accounts, you can arrange for copies of your children’s mail to be delivered to your address, as well. You can also help them set up e-mail filtering so they only get messages from people they have manually added to their address books.
Teach children to ignore instant messaging or e-mails from anyone they do not know.
If your kids use computers outside your supervision – library, school or friends’ houses – make sure you find out what kind of safeguards are being used.
Advise your child never to download images from any unknown source, as they could be anything – “come on” messages, explicit photos, etc.
Children should be taught to notify an adult immediately if anything occurs online to make them uncomfortable, frightened or confused. The same rules should apply at home as apply at the library, school, etc.
Suggest that your child pick a gender-neutral or alphanumeric screen name with no suggestive words or personal hints.
Everyone in the family should follows the same rules about revealing personal information – age, gender, school name or any family facts – and should not fill out complete online profiles.
Teach your kids to stop, immediately, any e-mail exchange, instant messages or chats when someone starts asking questions that are personal, suggestive or awkward in any way.
Finally, post the family “Internet usage agreement” right near the computer. You should review the rules, as a family, on a regular basis, and update them as needed.
