Make Communication Better in Your Relationship
Men, in general, do not like to get emotional. They get pretty uncomfortable when emotions are being discussed, and there are things that they simply will not talk about openly. If you wish to make communication better between you, then you need to help him open up.
We have one mouth for speaking and two ears for listening. But as a good listener, you need to sense beyond his spoken words. There may already be things he is trying to share with you but he is having difficulty saying them. And there may also be things that he will never want to repeat talking about. So when he starts talking, you had better listen with full attention.
Be true when you give compliments. Don’t flatter him or try to stroke his ego by saying things just because you think that’s what he wants to hear. If you want him to open up, then you need to be truthful. If you can’t say something nice, then shut up instead of lie.
Of course, both of you are still individuals and there are things that he would do that do not quite agree with you. If you must complain, then do it with tact; if you need to disagree, disagree with the deed and not the person. Don’t ever put him down or belittle him.
Don’t nag if he won’t discuss things with you. Stop asking the same question if he refuses to give an answer – maybe he doesn’t have one. Tantrums, yelling, badgering, and threatening will not exactly make your communication better.
The harder you bang on his shell, the tighter he will keep it shut. Draw him out gently – shed some warmth and he will take his cloak off voluntarily. Be patient when he’s not ready to talk.
Be his friend. Know when to give him verbal support and know when to keep silent. Give him space to think and work things out on his own. Be there when he needs your presence. Keep his secrets safe.
Your relationship needs to reach a certain level of comfort so he would feel secure enough to divulge things, especially sensitive topics like feelings. Being serious or romantic all the time won’t cut it. Have fun… it’s during those candid, unguarded moments that you will see him put his guard down.
