Marriage Problems – The Golden Rule To Improving Your Relationship
Do you have problems with your marriage? In reality all marriages have problems but when it gets to a point where being together is worse than being apart you are probably in serious trouble. Any marriage needs constant work to make it “work” and if you think that a good marriage simply works then you are mistaken. Problems can be a good thing because it helps your relationship grow and mature and virtually all couples that came through a tough time will tell you that it was a blessing in disguise.
With kids, careers and the stress and strain of everyday life its easy to get caught up in life. Often times your relationship with your spouse and even your kids becomes your outlet – often with devastating effects. Problems in a marriage are often self reinforcing and like a cancer it can grow and spread to all aspects of your life together.
So, can you save your marriage? Can you mend a relationship that seems totally broken? I think as long as there is still love then it can. If you’ve lost all your love for your spouse and you are only staying together for the sake of the kids then you are probably not doing anyone any favors – especially your kids. They will grow up and mimic your approach to love when they grow up.
So, if you are serious about fixing your relationship then there is one golden rule you need to abide by. Its simply, yet profound and it can be very hard at first. The rule is this: You go first. Wherever you want to happen in the relationship, you go first. This means you stop retaliating. You stop reacting. You stop blaming and you stop insisting that you are right – even if you are.
As long as you persist in your ingrained habitual arguments your relationship will never get better. Someone needs to break the pattern and it might as well be you. When you take responsibility you can affect the change. You will be amazed how quickly your spouse will respond.
