You know how important it is to make a good first impression, but sometimes – no matter how hard you try – you’re going to blow that initial meeting. It happens to the best of us.
A negative first impression will likely have one of three causes: a personality clash, when there is just something about one of you that the other person doesn’t like, and you get off on the wrong foot; a verbal gaffe, when you say something and can’t believe those words actually came from your mouth; or poor manners, which might range from being late, to having poor phone etiquette or even bad table manners.
Whatever the reason, when you’ve created a poor first impression, the worst thing you can do is to do nothing. Until you do something, it will continue to fester. It will get worse, and the other person is going to tell people about what you did. At some point, it will affect your career.
So what can you do? Try this five-step approach:
First, acknowledge the situation. As soon as you realize you’ve made a mistake, bring it out into the open with an acknowledgment. If you made a verbal misstep, say, “I don’t think that came out right.” If you committed a breach of etiquette, let the other person know you’re aware of what you did.
Second, offer a solution. Do what you can immediately to correct the situation. A misstatement may be corrected with a simple rephrasing. A spilled drink may require some assistance with the clean-up. Of course, some situations simply can’t be corrected; in those cases, make it clear that you would if you could.
Third, try to make amends or seek forgiveness. Depending on how serious the situation is–for example, were you ten minutes late, or did you forget an appointment altogether?–do something that reinforces your regret and positions you in a favorable light. This could be a verbal or written apology, or a small gift. A sense of humor can be a tremendous asset at this stage. If possible and appropriate, create an experience in the mind of the other person that lets them know you’re apologetic, but that you also see the light side, and you hope they will, too.
Fourth, return the relationship to a neutral zone. In many cases, whatever you do to make amends will naturally take the relationship from negative to neutral. In most situations, people are willing to forgive and start over.
And finally, try to make a transition to positive ground. This is your chance to try to take the relationship to where you wanted it to go in the first place. You might invite the other person to dinner, send them tickets to a show or sporting event, or do something else that you know they’ll appreciate.
Throughout the process of correcting a poor first impression, never make excuses for what you did.
