Can Family Traditions Teach Anything?
Family traditions are a very interesting and important part of most lives. They are often the strong glue which welds our lives together. For the most part as we become adults and start to shape our own family we find ourselves forming our own traditions.
Some of these traditions are based on values instilled in us by our parents and often THEIR parents before them. These traditions become part of our thinking patterns, form intrinsic values which become part of our adult being. Something as simple as dropping a coin in a buskers container each day as our parents walked past could become part of the daily ebb and flow of our lives also.
While we are young the traditions of our family remain unchallenged forming rhythm to our lives, making us feel safe and secure in its sameness. When two people come together to form their own family it can be a struggle to decide which traditions need to remain in their lives and which can be relegated to allow for new family habits to replace them. It is a dilemma that most of us face at one time or another.
Christmas is fast approaching and I watch my son and his wife facing the annual challenge yet again. Like many young adults they try to make both sets of parents happy by having Christmas one year with her family and the other with us. For them this is a huge task as he lives three days journey from our home and his wife’s profession means that she frequently works on Christmas Day.
They want to do the right thing by both sets of parents but this is a monumental task in my opinion. The compromise is that they come to our home as close to Christmas Day as it is possible in order that she be home to work on that special day. The suggestion has often been made that they free themselves from this self-imposed stress and visit us later in the year. Once or twice I have even suggested that they stay home and build their own Christmas tradition but to no avail. My son and his wonderful wife want their tiny family to be part of the celebrations in our home. As head of his home, my son feels that it is important for them to experience the way in which our Christmas tradition is celebrated. Personally I just appreciate the sacrifice that they all make physically and financially to be with us.
Watching this annual struggle unfold makes it very clear that tradition is a vital link in family life. Tradition teaches us so much without words even being said. Ours is an open home. Every Sunday we went to church together and they would often come and ask if they could invite a family for lunch. We rarely knew who might show up but it was always fun. Inviting another family to our home after church became a long standing tradition as they grew up. Those now adult children, learned to be generous, to have time for others and enjoy being with people all without a single word to teach them yet they have not particularly followed this tradition of their youth.
So while family traditions are beneficial to us because they make us feel safe and secure in our own little world, they also teach and help to mold the person we become. Family tradition is therefore a stabilizing and quiet example of how to live our lives. It is certainly worth working at setting great traditions which generations to follow might also follow!
