Parenting Teens is Fun
Yeah, yeah. It is not fun. It’s frustrating. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s disheartening. I know all that. Been there, done….
What I’m saying is, “Get Perspective.”
I used to be over-worked (Actually, still am.) and then, I’d come home to encounter my teenager son’s attitude. I’m going to skip over the fireworks, right now. You probably know the picture. My fuses would be lit; my stress nobody cared about; my voice louder than an 18-wheeler’s horn.
Perspective. I’m going to give you mine, cause nobody gave it to me in time for me to avoid some of these issues in parenting my teens. If one mom or dad parenting teens right now can relax a little, relieve some angst with their teen, than that’s worth a gallon of gold. I really think so. I love parenting teens. And I want you to, too. To get some fun out of it.
If you have a difficult teen, I’m not going to go back and berate you for not having built some rapport with them when they were younger. I’m assuming some of you have. Some of you haven’t. Parenting teens is a certainly a DO IT NOW job. A Learn-As-You-Go job.
Attitudes. Stuff. Cusses. Issues. Chores. One moment, it’s there like mushrooms. Aggh! What a Disgusting Attitude! Where that mushroom come from?
Remember. Perspective.
Mushrooms, indeed, are mushy. Yet, easily lifted off the lawn. Because some are poisonous, handle with care. Yet all of them can be removed readily. Parenting teens is like picking up the mushrooms from the lawn. After a good rain, expect them.
Real Life Now: Your daughter refuses to do the dishes, her designated chore. Well, stop.
Do you like doing them? The perspective here is that her refusal is not because she is a bad person. She likely agrees in her heart that she should do them. She just doesn’t feel like it. You relate to that feeling, too.
Technique Now(as if that’s all it takes): Be firm. “I expect you to do the dishes.” And wait. For her to start. And smile as you stand there. They hate this. Inevitably, she will end up doing what you ask. This technique requires from you extra composure, energy, and love. (Please, do it with joy, meaning don’t gasp when you see those mushrooms.)
Obviously, your battles need to be picked well. When parenting teens pick the important ones. Not all of them are worth your haggling over.
The perspective I’m emphasizing here is, love your teen; smile alongside the giving of your firm direction. It’s not a request. Go ahead, practice your smile now. Show your smile, doing the dishes is not a punishment. In fact, it is fun to do, splashes and bubbles, like a baby bath. Being clean feels real good. Now, hold that practice smile for one minute. Okay. Getting the hang of it?
Ultimately, it’s perspective. Prepare yourself ahead of time with a big perspective. Teenagers like to light sparklers at unintended moments. Yet, believe in them. (Are your shaking your head at me?) Believe it, your teen knows what’s right. Just has a hard time getting over Self, you know that. Help them. Believe in them. Be firm in your BIG perspective. Now, go have some fun parenting your teen. Show it in your firm smile.
