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Carl Jung called it our shadow side, the part of us that we hide from others. Maybe we camouflage an aggressive sales pitch by a surface smile and fake friendliness, or lay down our bible long enough to visit a porn site. Whatever it is; it is that part of us we don’t want others to know about. We pretend, and this instills guilt.

Guilt of course always leads to fear of becoming discovered, to become known for what we really are, which is hypocritical. And fear, many times, leads controlling – all followed by anger, hatred, and depression when our control is thwarted.

So why not just stop all this nonsense? Why not work toward becoming a completely integrated human being?

Part of becoming an integrated human being is becoming one-faced. We display the same face to everyone, including our selves. This of course requires drastic honesty and integrity, two bugaboos for the insincere heart. This is called honesty, truthfulness.

Why is it we get so caught up in exhibiting misleading impressions of ourselves? Is it insecurity, thirst for acceptance, desire for power? We become an actor on a stage who changes personalities and costumes to fit the scene. Why not just be you, even with all the warts and awful secrets that you believe will ostracize you from society forever? That’s at least a starting point for change. If we forever hide our other face, we will never change.

And guess what? Your warts and secrets are no different from everyone else’s, and those that claim to be saints never are. Only the sinners that admit their failings honestly can be trusted because they hide nothing. A real person will always be self-effacing, never judgmental of others, because they understand.

Coming to terms with oneself begins by taking a good look at what you have hidden away, and realizing that anything hidden causes deep seated stress. You are propping up a dishonest picture of yourself, the sustaining of which takes a tremendous amount of energy. It’s not worth it. And neither are the things that you are hiding.

So there are two ways to become one-faced: One way is to no longer hide anything. Let the world know what you do behind closed doors and exactly what you think of everyone and everything. Of course, you will no longer have any friends.

The other way is to see clearly, maybe for the first time, exactly what your little secrets are and why it seems so important to keep them revealed. Must you continue with them? Can you not go another way?

This is where reflection, honest reflection, can make a change in your life where you can lay down the burden of two-facedness and become whole, integrated, projecting one view for everyone and everything, which is an honest view. But it requires insight and wisdom; insight into the absurdity and addiction of your hidden actions and thoughts, and the wisdom to see that this addiction has limited you all of your life.

I was once asked what’s so wrong with manipulating people to get what one wants, which means acting, faking it, and only pretending to be friends for advantage. I replied that a life of a manipulator is a tragic life indeed, because that kind of person ends up even lying to themselves eventually, convincing themselves that they are happy while stressing themselves to death. No calm, no peace, no happiness. Only aggression and ambition, which eventually shreds a person’s soul. No freedom at all.

Remove the burden of two-facedness for your own peace of mind. That’s what we actually want out of life; ease and peace, a trouble free existence and the freedom to be ourselves. Just imagine how simple life would be if we were completely honest and straightforward. Just think how impressive that would be to anyone who interacted with you. It would be a powerful thing, so powerful that it could change the world. At least your world and the world of those you interact with.

Begin by seeing exactly what you are and what you do, how you think and how you interact. Just observe now. No need to attempt to make changes because that kind of attempt will set up a duality of the one who is and the one who should be. And that is being two faced.

So the first step is acceptance. Acceptance of what you are. Once that is made clear, then there is the chance for change. And once that change truly takes place, then their is the possibility, a very good possibility, of being one-faced in every situation.

And once we become one-faced, it is truly amazing how we automatically begin accepting others for what they are, not what we expect them to be, but what they are. This is the beginning of loving your neighbor.

And once we truly accept everything for what it is, we will find calm and peace, and when we do that, then, and only then, is there the possibility of going beyond even our one face, when we come face to face with that which is greater.