Ending a Relationship
Today’s To Do List
08:00 – Work
10:00 – Team Meeting – Presentation
13:00 – Union Meeting
17:15 – Pick up dry-cleaning
19:30 – Break up with my partner
Now for most of us that would be an unusual item on our “to do” list. Ending a relationship is not something that happens every day but still needs to be thought about and done well. Some relationships last longer than they should because it is so hard to break up and no one likes doing it.
Here are some of the ways that a relationship ends:
Sudden and explosive – this way usually involves an argument, loud words and hot emotions and is usually sudden.
Mutual – this way involves the couple coming to the realization at the same time that the relationship is not going anywhere and it is time to move on.
Slow and going downhill – this way usually takes the longest and involves things getting worse over a period.
When you are ending a bad relationship, how can you do it the smart way?
The first thing to do is find out why you are breaking up. It is important to know the underlying cause which will help you both work through the break up reasonably. Knowing the cause helps you to be honest with each other in your break up communication. This can help if you both still want to have a friendship with your partner after you have stopped being a couple.
Make a time to get together and discuss things calmly and rationally. As much as it can be intimidating, doing this in person is better than using text or emails. The only time this may not be possible is if you are in a long distance relationship in which case over the phone would be better than email.
Try to keep things positive, be nice to each other and behave respectfully during your meeting. If your partner is upset, be gentle and compassionate. Be honest with each other but be aware of any emotional manipulation. Do not do something that you will only go back on later. This will only postpone the inevitable.
Assuming at this point that you have explored all options to making your relationship work, keep to your decision and make a clean break. Being honest and telling your partner what worked, and what did not, and owning your feelings and actions, will help to bring closure to your relationship.
As mentioned before, you may wish to remain friends, or even perhaps get back together in the future; it is just that the timing is not right now. When you are ending a relationship the right way you leave the way open to restart your relationship later because you have dealt with it now in a caring and honest way.
Even if you don’t, you would have ended the relationship the smart way. By dealing with each other in that manner, you can both move on without the baggage of a bad break up.
