Getting the One You Love Back
Your wife has left you. She was tired of the put downs and could not take any more abuse. She left a note telling you how she felt. You are aware that getting back the one you love will take some work.
This was the way your father had done it when you were growing up. He would tell your mother she was over weight and nobody would love her. Your mother took the abuse until the day she died and here you are repeating the same pattern with your wife.
This kind of behavior is not that uncommon for in the old days men often treated women with little respect. Times have changed but some people have not.
If you are serious about getting the one you love back you need to make some changes. Your wife left because she valued herself more than you did. She probably worked at getting you to change but realized that staying in a verbally abusive relationship would eventually wear her down and she could possibly end up like your mother tolerating the abuse. Is this what you wanted for your wife? The woman you took vows with and promised to protect. Now that she has left it just might sink in that you are the reason for her leaving. When you met her did you not love all that she was? Did you not notice that she was a happy well-adjusted woman who could stand on her own two feet? Then why once married did you choose to betray her by telling her she was not the woman she thought she was. Why did you berate her constantly until she cried herself to sleep? What made you feel good about hurting the woman you love?
You have repeated your fathers behavioral pattern and are verbally abusing her. If you have any chance of getting the one you love back you may need some counseling. Here you will be shown how as a boy you watched your father do damage to your mother. You hated watching it and vowed never to do it to your wife. Something was triggered when you got married. Maybe it was the fact that your wife was her own person and you felt threatened so you slipped into the pattern of your father and made your wife feel bad.
Before you talk to your wife you must recognize what has happened. The change has to come from you. You love your wife and want her back so you have to see how insecure you are and stop abusing your wife.
When you have made that decision talk to your wife tell her you are going to get some help and work on the problem. Believe me this may be music to her ears and you may find her support is instant. You can get her back if the abuse stops. You have to change your mind set. You are not your father and your wife is not your mother. Turn the switch in your head and see your wife in a different light. She loves you and wants to make it work.
Even though this problem is wide spread it can be turned around and the outcome a happy one. Do the work and you will be getting the one you love back.
