Parenting is 24-7!
Are you trying to raise “good kids?” Do you wonder if you are parenting well? Questions like these can make parents begin to sweat and panic. You wonder if you are doing all that you can do and if you are doing it as well as the next guy. Parenting takes a lot of effort and unfortunately, no matter how often we joke about it, there are no manuals that they send you home from the hospital with when you leave with your new baby!
There is just no way around it. Parenting is a 24-7 job. When you have infants, this reality is very clear and newborn babies will not let you forget it. Their needs are constant, and so is the demand on our time as parents. As time goes on, though, we tend to forget this. Our children become increasingly more independent and we begin to “back off” a bit in our parenting. We slide a little here and there. The older our children get, the less we actively “parent” and the more we passively “react.”
Good, effective parenting is not the same as reacting, though. Parenting is proactive, and it takes every waking hour of our attention. That’s not to say that your attention must be on your children every waking hour, but it has to be on your actions and your example, on your own character, if you will. Parenting is about setting a standard, demonstrating a model for behavior, and helping your kids live into those expectations as they grow. Consistency in what you say and what you do is critical. Kids will notice the difference, and you can be sure that they will use any discrepancies to weaken your position of influence in their lives.
So take a look at your actions and your words. Do they match? Do you behave the same way around your children as you do in front of your friends? This last spring I went on a cruise and there were times that I found myself watching total strangers and thinking, “What would their children say if they saw that behavior?” If that kind of thought scares you, then you might want to consider the example you are setting.
A personal example of this is seen in my own parents. In the last several years, both of my parents have passed away. From time to time, people from my parents’ past have shown up, expressed their love for my parents, and shared their stories of the moments that stick out for them. I am pleased to say that the moments that have been shared with me and my sisters have all been blessings. They’ve been moments that I can “see” my parents having. Their character was consistent for me in that the people that they were when they were with their friends, relaxing and “cutting loose,” were the same people that they were with me and my sisters. They hoped for the same things, they held the same standards, and they carried out the same code of conduct. They were who they were, 24-7.
